Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Necessary?

  I can hear my seven year old happily singing from the bathroom as I load the dishwasher.  It's almost time to leave for school.  His big sister points out that he’s been in there a long time, and that he’s probably getting into stuff.  It’s the same suspicion I have, but I’m enjoying his little rendition of The Final Countdown and I don’t want to interrupt him.  Besides, his bathroom shenanigans are usually no more harmful than the occasional overzealous application of his Daddy’s cologne.  Well that, and stuffing too much toilet paper down the toilet.  I’m an expert with the toilet plunger.  I have a lot of practice. 

Trent returns and sits at the kitchen table to finish his breakfast and I walk back to my bedroom, to put my shoes on.  I hear the sound of water running from the bathroom.  Not good.  I’m too late.  Water is spilling out of the toilet and onto the floor when I open the bathroom door.  First thing I need to do is stop the water.  So I devise a little invention, one I’m quite proud of, using a chopstick to hold the chain up in the water tank, stopping the flow of water.  While I’m throwing towels on the floor, sopping up the mess, I hear my son say, in a sad, quiet voice, “Grace says I broke the toilet”.

  “No, no, no…she shouldn’t have said that”, I say, trying to comfort him.  Not that I wasn’t thinking the same thing.  “You do need to be more careful though, try not to use so much toilet paper.  Now go get your coat on. You’re going to be late for school!” 

  The walk to school is a quiet one.  My thoughts are on the big mess I now have to clean up when I return home.  I don’t say anything else about it though, as my son obviously feels bad about the whole thing.  I’m glad that I was quiet. 

  The rest of the day…well, I’ll spare you the details.  It was a $%$#@ day.  Literally.  One clogged toilet turned into two, and then the bathtub backed up!   Long story short, it was the septic tank, and not Trent’s fault in any way.  I’m glad that I was quiet and didn’t say anything else to Trent that I would have regretted later.

  That was something I could be proud of.  But the day wasn’t over yet.  I still had some humble pie to eat.  Later on that night, Trent and my husband were in his room playing Legos.  Furniture was moved around in a search for a missing piece, and a long lost watch was found in the process.  A watch that I was sure had been taken by a visiting child.  I never confronted the child or the parent about the missing watch, but I did voice my suspicion to my kids, even though I had no proof.  I now had to apologize to my kids for what I had said and admit to my rash words.  Ouch!

  It was a long day.  A few days prior I had chosen a phrase, as my motto for the year, painting it on canvas and hanging it up, so that I would be reminded often of its truth.  It comes from Kim John Payne’s book, Simplicity Parenting.  He says, “Before you speak, think.  Is it true?  Is it Kind?  Is it necessary?”   Now I have not only the painting, but these two memorable experiences to remind me of this truth.  Hopefully, I won’t need any more of these types of life lessons to remind me again.  Of course, I will.  I know that.  I just hope it won’t be for awhile.



January Reflections: Laughter

I'm joining in on January '11 reflections.  For more information click on image.

“Ho, ho, ho, someone’s pinching Santa!” My husband says loudly as he walks in the front door.  That’s all it takes to get the kids laughing.  I wish you could hear the way he says it.  I roll my eyes, shake my head, and pretend I’m not amused.  That’s my role when questionably appropriate jokes are told.  But inside, I’m laughing, and they all know it. The dog seems to get the joke too, or maybe she just likes to hear the sound of laughter in the house.  In any case, she jumps off the couch, tail wagging, and starts prancing around in that adorable way poodles do when they’re happy.  It’s a moment I cherish, and one that I’m happy to say, isn’t uncommon, in variations, around my home.

 I laugh most often with my family.  We have many of these silly phrases.  Words that mean nothing to anyone else, but can send us into fits of laughter until our sides ache.  They come from shared stories- ones that no longer need to be told in full.  Just the punch line will do.  The Santa joke comes from a story that goes all the way back to high school.  My husband and I were both in choir when we went to the mall to carol one Christmas.  The choir posed for a picture around Santa and one jokester decided to give old Santa a little pinch on the botto*.   Why Derek chose to tell this story to our kids, I’ll never know.  I would be horrified if either one of them ever tried that little stunt on Santa!  For some reason though, it struck with my family’s shared, odd sense of humor, and it still makes us laugh.    

 *Botto, a made up word we use for bottom (I think it came from the Eloise books).

  I love silly movies.  Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, and Chelsea Handler can all make me laugh out loud.  But it’s my family that makes me laugh the hardest.  Just the sound of any one of them laughing makes me smile.  We have a lot of shared stories because we spend a lot of time together.  We’ve been pretty consistent with family dinners over the years and I’m blessed to have a husband who spends most of his free time with his family on the weekends.  We genuinely enjoy each other’s company.  Of course we get on each other’s nerves at times, but laughter is a great way to ease the tension.  Laughter brings us closer.  Laughter is good for the soul.  It’s a good thing to be part of a family that laughs together.  What makes you laugh?  Do you have any silly shared words or phrases in your family?        



Reflections on 2010

I don't want to let 2010 go by without thanking those of you who visit me here, leaving such kind, supportive comments, and sharing your own lives through your blogs. Please know how much I appreciate you.  You inspire me.  I wish you all a Happy New Year and blessings on 2011. 

As is my custom, I like finish out the year on this blog by posting a photo from each month of the past year.  The photos I've chosen represent my favorite memories from 2010.  January, waterfront near our new home

February, San Francisco, a fun weekend trip with friends

March, Grace started down the path of serious ballet study

April, at home, in our backyard

May, exploring the city

June, exploring a gardenJuly, exploring parks

August, beachfront writing

September, more time on the beach...with dear friends

 October, visiting the Seattle Art MuseumNovember, sledding with neighborhood friends

December, Grace performing in PNB Nutcracker and meeting her favorite dancersLooking back, I'm deeply grateful.  I look forward to 2011 with great hope and anticipation.  My resolution is to be more mindful of the people in my life and the blessing they are to me, making more of an effort to let them know how loved and appreciated they are, by my actions and words.

D.P.P//12.25.10

Merry Christmas!This is the end of the December Photography Project that I was participating in.  One photo, (at least) every day, for the first 25 days of December- done!  I enjoyed the challenge.  And now, I'm going to take a few days off from posting.  I'll be back with the new year.  Building mazes for a robotic Hex bug on Christmas evening.  A fun ending to a good day.

D.P.P//12.24.10

When you give this kid a cookie, ...he gets a little nutty........but that's okay, because we were at the "Nutty Nutcracker".........the Nutcracker, with some subtle, and not so subtle jokes thrown in for fun.  Only two more shows after tonight.  Merry Christmas!